Disgusting

Hunters make me sick! Corey and I had a remote in Orem yesterday, and on the way back I saw three different trucks driving down the freeway all proudly displaying their fresh kill. The first had hung the deer's head over the tailgate of the truck, proudly displaying the shot to the neck that killed the deer to everyone that drove by. Blood had been running from the wound and down the back of the tailgate creating a huge blood streak. You could also see the giant bloody hole in the deer's neck from the bullet. The second was actually a shitty old RV which had the deer wrapped up in rope and hanging from the back. The hunters had carefully positioned the head and horns so that the deers lifeless eyes were looking back at everyone driving behind them. Once again, the body of the deer was soaked in blood. The last vehicle I saw was a car which had a deer strapped to the top. This one was my favorite! The hunters had written in what appeared to be blood "12 point baby" on the rear window. Of course you can't imagine the white trash that was the two guys driving the car.

Honestly though, what a disgusting hobby. Dustin and I went to Kobellas the other day and they had a hunting video playing on a TV near the rifles. The video showed deer after deer getting shot and killed. Half of the time the deer run for about 300 yards before finally falling over themselves to the ground. Another half of the time the bullet hits with such force you see a large burst of flesh, guts and blood fly out of the side of the dear and it drops almost instantaneously. It made me sick, and so does anyone that hunts.

3 Things

- Thank god for daylight savings and the positive light it cast upon tonight.

- Halloween.

- The pictures will explain it all.

Advent Children

I just went pretty nerdcore and somehow found myself spending the last hour or so watching Final Fantasy cut scenes on Google video. Watching all those cut scenes brings back a lot of memories of the HOURS I used to spend trying to raise a Chocobo, get through the Macalania Temple, or defeat Jenova synthesis. And when I say hours, I mean hours! I think last time I played Final Fantasy X (which I never finished) I was up to 65 hours of play time... something like that. Not to mention all the hours playing FFIIV and FFXI online. Ahh, those were the days. I still remember sluffing (a Utah word for ditching) class back in 10th grade and cruising up to Nate's house to watch him play Final Fantasy VII. I never could grasp how anyone could play a video game for 50 hours and not lose interest, but eventually I got my hands on a copy and quickly learned. I think I'm still in love with Aeris, but not as much as this guy, Anyway, yeah, I was a total Final Fantasy nerd... and proud of it!

If you wanna get straight nerdcore like me, here are a few videos to watch:

FFVIII Opening Movie - I remember when Nate bought this game and we put it in together. This is the first thing that starts playing, it's still one of the coolest Final Fantasy intros ever. Needless to say after seeing this video, we were excited.

Yuna/Tidus Kiss - Break this one out when you first start dating someone... *wink, wink*

and finally if you think I'm a nerd...

Watch this! - You might want to fast forward to the fight sequence, that's by far the funniest part. heheheh.

How's It Going to Be?

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore.
Before you take a swing, I wonder what are we fighting for?
When I say out loud, I want to get out of this.
I wonder, is there anything I'm going to miss?

I wonder how it's going to be when you don't know me?
How's it going to be when you're sure I'm not there?
How's it going to be when there's no one there to talk to between you and me?
'Cause I care.
How's it going to be?

Where we used to laugh, there's a shouting match,
sharp as a thumbnail scratch.
A silence I can't ignore, like the hammock
by the doorway we spent time in swings empty,
I don't see lightning like last fall,
when it was always about to hit me.

I wonder how's it going to be, when it goes down?
How's it going to be, when you're not around?
How's it going to be, when you find out there is nothing
between you and me?
Because I care, how it's going to be.

How's it going to be, when you don't know me anymore?

How's it going to be?

I want to get myself back in again.
The soft dive of oblivion.
I want to taste the salt of your skin,
the soft dive of oblivion.

How's it going to be, when you don't know me anymore?

How's it going to be?

Words can't express my anger right now.

All Aboard!

Aboard the bullet train to emotional hell! God damn has today been one for the record books. I'll elaborate at a later date, but for now may I humbly suggest the following:

The John Paxton Experience ™ (JPE), which can be experienced at any of the following blogs:

The Mercurial Travels of One John Paxton: A tale of woe, yet unwarranted joy, a chronicle of virtue yet disdain, all with a satisfying strawberry finish!

Whatever and Ever 'namen

The Man, The Myth, The Legend: Revealed!

OTS!

Porno and the Church

Wanna laugh until you can't breath anymore like JP Daawg and myself did moments ago? Then read this article from the Salt Lake Tribune on the new LDS video 'Pornography - The Great Lie: A Guide for Latter-Day Saint Families', a video which speaks of "The insidious evil of pornography" and it's effect on society and future missionaries. Who needs comics when you've got the LDS church to keep you entertained with quotes like:

"The insidious evil of pornography no longer lurks in the shadows. It's coming after you!"

"Will I be able to go on a mission if I've had a problem with pornography?"

and who could forget

"where there are drug busts, there is pornography"

This video works so well you may need to go down to BYU to get yourself de-gayed* afterwards!

*If you don't get my de-gayed reference, click here to see how the LDS church is attempting to "cure" homosexuality.

Woman... be my slave!

My Blog is Famous!

My blog is famous!!! Actually not really, but I did get a response from the town chairman of Bluff, Utah in regards to a post I made about the town changing it's name to PokerShare.com! Pretty cool if you ask me. When Jason speaks, the world listens... or at least the citizens of Bluff. Anyway, what he said was pretty interesting. My original post can be found here, and this was the response:

Hi Jason;
I'm the town's chairman, mentioned in the article you're citing. I appreciate your perspective and think you could appreciate what we are trying to do with this ridiculous offer. Here's my confession:

STATEMENT OF A COMMITTED BLUFFOON
October 10, 2005

In the last few days there has been a lot of news about the possibility of our town, Bluff, Utah, changing its name to PokerShare.com. Supposedly, an online gambling company was willing to offer us $100,000 if we would agree to change the name of our town to their corporate name as a publicity stunt. This was reported in the Salt Lake Tribune and the Deseret News, as well as on Salt Lake television. I had told the news media that we as a community would consider the deal and weigh the advantages against the disadvantages to see what was really in the cards for us.

Needless to say, this stunt did generate a lot of concern among the people of this town and of San Juan County. I received calls and e-mails from local people who told me that their great-grandparents had always considered their home to be “Bluff.” Navajo people told me that it would be inconceivable to even consider changing the name to something so unnatural. Descendents of the original Mormon pioneers who settled in this area told me that this would be a travesty. I was told that it would greatly offend the sense of history and community that has been developing here for years uncounted—that it would be an unseen poison in the air.

I tried to play up the humor of the situation in order to get people talking about it even more—as if we were seriously considering it. A lot of people contributed some truly insane comments such as these:

“I kind of like Amazon.com better than Pokershare.com. It has more of a ring to it.”

“What if we auctioned off rights to sell the name Bluff, Utah on E-bay? Maybe if we hold out for another round we can get a better offer.”

“Why not? Can we split the proceeds to finish construction on all of the houses that are on the 10-year construction plan?”

“If we ever sold out, though, I'd like to see us go to someone like Gates or Turner who could fork over REAL dough and for whom we would not feel obligated to learn any particular card game.”

“What if we bought a barge (I hear they’re cheap in New Orleans now), park it in the river, right on the Reservation boundary and open a casino to build on the publicity of our new name?”

“If we change the name to PokerShare.com, it might make it more difficult to do a town exchange with Bluff, New Zealand, and I'm still hoping for a trip there. Of course it might make it easier to do an exchange with Vegas, but who wants to go there?”

“Would we have to change the name of the school to PokerShare Elementary? If so, I can think of lots of benefits for things like applied math lessons, etc. Maybe we could dispense the milk cartons with slot machines?”

Bluffoons do have an excellent sense of humor, so we got a good laugh from this because many of us knew that our consideration of the offer was a hoax: Those who didn’t took this threat more seriously. And for good reason. The idea of selling your soul, so to speak, for $100,000 for such a short-term benefit is really kind of sickening and no one with any integrity would ever consider it.

The people of Bluff and San Juan County are right. It would be a horrendous insult to our community to sell out our future for such a miniscule short-term benefit. San Juan County Commissioner Lynn Stevens perhaps put it best when he asked in the Deseret News:

“Is it logical that the current residents of the city own the name?”

His point is that the current generation isn’t the only owner of the community. The present doesn’t own the totality of the community. The community belongs to the past, the present, and the future. We have a responsibility both to our history and to the future. We cannot sell that future short.

This hoax was generated in the hopes of illustrating these dangers.

We as a community must not sell out our future for some limited short-term benefits that cause huge long-term problems.

Currently, many in leadership positions are seeking economic growth at any price--Namely: the importing of radioactive waste from all over the country for storage here. It’s like trying to change the name of the county to RadioActiveWaste.com. The idea of actively seeking radioactive waste to be stored in San Juan County for the benefit of a few hundred thousand dollars and a few jobs would be an even more unimaginable travesty. We do not ‘own’ the community in total, so we cannot commit it to such a future.

Many people feel the need to improve our local economy and offer our children a more secure future than we have had here. I understand this sentiment completely. But at what cost? We owe our future generations the right to exist in a healthy environment and to have the same rights to healthy lives that we have now.

The majority of people in Bluff, and I believe, most of San Juan County, share these sentiments and we want to be heard.

Patrick McDermott
Citizen of Bluff, Utah
Resident of San Juan County
Aengus63@yahoo.com

Top 5

My top 5's as of the past week:

Bands
1. No Use For a Name (breakup ying)
2. Dropkick Murpheys (yang)
3. 2Pac
4. Michael Buble
5. Ben Folds

Songs
1. Solitare - No Use For a Name
2. The Green Fields of France - Dropkick Murpheys
3. Friends of the Enemy - No Use For a Name
4. Come Fly With Me - Michael Buble
5. The Last Polka - Ben Folds Five

Websites
1. Myspace (I'm ashamed, honestly)
2. RSS Feeds (SL Tribune, Engadget, TUAW, Smoking Gun, etc.)
3. Useless Junk
4. Hektik
5. The Best Page in the Universe

Activities
1. Working
2. School
3. Partying/Hanging Out
4. Playing drums
5. Going to Coffee Break with Nate

Time Spent With People
1. Nate
2. Kasey
3. JP Daawg
4. Dustin
5. Mikey

That was stupid...

Of Mice and Men

I got an A on my big English portfolio! I am a rhetorical GOD!

The Word

Will you guys remind me that I owe Lisa from Geffen records a call when I'm 30? She's the shit! Speak to it girl!!!

Even now I get discouraged, I wonder if they take it all back will I still keep the courage?
I refuse to be a role model. I set goals, take control, drink out my own bottle.
I make mistakes, learn from everyone, and when its said and done I bet a brotha be a better one.
If I upset you, don't stress, never forget... that god hasn't finished with me yet!

Bloodhound Gang tonight bitches!

Grandmama

Well today hasn't been the greatest day in the world. About a month ago we found out that my grandma on my mothers side of the family had cancer. This was pretty big news since she was too sick to undergo any treatment and it was basically a terminal diagnosis. Well today her condition worsened considerably and she has slipped into a coma. I went down with most of my family and visited her for a few hours today. Although she looks good physically she is unable to wake and begins to go into seizures if you try to wake her. I'm certainly not a doctor, but it appears to me that it's only a matter of a day or two before she passes. She is diabetic and they are unable to give her insulin if she can't eat. The doctors don't want to give her an I.V. because it would be hard on her body to process the insulin while she's in the comatose state. Essentially the process has been set into motion.

Although it's difficult to see her in this state, it's been a long time coming and something I think most of us are fairly well prepared for. She's been in a lot of pain lately and no one wants to see her suffer any longer.

Bluff

There is an article in todays Salt Lake Tribune about an online gambling site called PokerShare.com who is trying to essentially "purchase" the name of Bluff, a small town in southern Utah, for $100,000 in return for the town changing it's name to PokerShare.com. Apparently the mayor and most of the towns 250 citizens are in favor of the purchase since it would give the town some much needed revenue.

In my opinion, this is what is wrong with America! It makes me sick that any corporation would be allowed to use private money to purchase something as public as a town name! It is not a corporations duty to take care of the fiscal needs of a small city or town, it is the taxpayers! If the town is short on cash, they shouldn't be allowed to look to corporations for money. They should be forced to deal with the issue locally and either raise taxes or cut expenses to deal with the problem. This policy should go for schools, police departments and any other form tax payer funded government institution as well. The problem lies in the blatant disregard of the truth by canidates running for public office. A canidate would much rather falsely campaign for lower taxes, than address the real issue which is that most cities are deep in debt and getting deeper. If a city was an individual, I'm curious how he would ever get out of debt by constantly trying to lower his salary while increasing his expenses? That is essentially the platform most politicians campaign on during nearly every election.

The politicians are not the only ones to blame however, we as Americans are the true simpletons. If we would use an ounce of our brains and actually examine the problems facing our government, and each candidates proposal to correct those problems, we would begin to pull ourselves out of this pit we are sinking into. Instead however, it seems most Americans are content with voting for whatever candidate promises to lower taxes, and fighting over how much we should fine Howard Stern for saying "boob" on the radio. If you want to be the average unconcerned and ignorant American citizen, you'll have to do so living in Wal Mart, Colorado or 1800Contacts.com, Washington. Enjoy your new address!

A Brief History Of Time

I started reading "A Brief History of Time" by Stephen Hawking tonight. This goes hand in hand with what I've been saying about my strong desire to learn lately. I'm not only reading the book, but I'm going through it with a notebook and highlighter as well, so that I can absorb as much information as possible (and trust me, there's a LOT of information in this book). So far it's been really interesting. I just hope I have friends that are going to be interested in hearing about anthropic principle, quantum theory and electroweak unification for the next little while! :)

So far I've learned this much. The earth is not flat, and is not the center of the universe. Hmmm, interesting!

The Grey Bandanna

I don't know if it's the shitty weather or last night still leaving my system, but my brain just doesn't seem to want to work today. I want to talk about last night, but can't seem to put it into words very well. It was a lot of fun and the fact I got home at almost 5 am should be further proof that good times were had. It was awesome seeing Jon again and getting everyone together. Shaggy's was a lot of fun as well and I have the bar tab to prove it!

I was playing around on my old Blurty journal for quite awhile tonight reading a bunch of my old journal entries. It's pretty fun going back and remembering how you were feeling a few years ago. I was reminded of a bunch of experiences that had slipped away over the years. Most of the entries were pretty funny and a few were kinda sad. I thought I'd repost one of the first entries I ever made, it was written on May 8th, 2003 and titled 'God's Tub':

I'd just like to sit and take a moment to go over just how much I fucking love hot tubs. What's not to love about them? They provide quality outdoors time in the winter, and really the only excuse to get women into bikini's that time of year. Their also breeding grounds for social activity, for instance. Everyone I have met that I know at my new apartment complex, I've met in the hot tub. It's a ritual for some of us. Every night I am available, 10:15 sharp, me and many others like me make our short 45 second journey to the hot tub. I am convinced the hot tub is gods tub of choice, after all, any body of water than can increase the potency of liquor by 2x just by sitting in it, has to be some sort of holy.

Mr. Self Destruct

We follow this beaten path, carved by countless lovers before us.

Pain, anguish, love, destiny and power have all helped guide the way.

A group of us follow unknowing.

Serenity passes by with every step.

C |----------------|------------|------------x|
H |x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-|x-x-x-x-x-x-|x-x-x-x-x-x-|
S |--o---o---o-----|o---o---o---|o---o---o---o|
F |------------o---|----------o-|-------------|
B |o---o---oo----o-|--o---oo----|--o---oo--o--|
Hf|------------x---|----------x-|-------------|

This life we live nourishes as well as suffocates.

We go on unknowing.

Until the day we all realize we've gone too far.

Nothing is left now.

Darkness envelops our lives, our thoughts and our minds.

C |----------------|------------|--------------|
H |x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-|x-x-x-x-x-x-|x-x-x-x-x-----|
S |--o---o---o-----|o---o---o---|o---o---o-oooo|
F |------------o---|----------o-|--------------|
B |o---o---oo----o-|--o---oo----|--o---oo------|
Hf|------------x---|----------x-|--------------|

Slowly we fall into the unknown, a place so many have gone, yet no one can speak of.

Tears, screams, terror, agony and torment envelop our minds.

Our lives we've lived to a god so faithful.

The final step we take on trust.

Do we fall, do we climb or do we cease to exist?

Our thoughts, memories, bodies and souls die.

We disintegrate until there is nothing left.

C |x-------------x-|------------|------------x|
H |x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-|x-x-x-x-x-x-|x-x-x-x-x-x-x|
S |--o---o---o-----|o---o---o---|o---o---o---o|
F |------------o---|----------o-|-------------|
B |o---o---oo----o-|--o---oo----|--o---oo--o--|
Hf|------------x---|----------x-|-------------|

One by one our friends, family and children forget.

The story we've worked so hard to create begins to fade.

Only a few years later we are non-existent, no longer able to speak.

Memories are nothing but spent atoms in a wooden box.

6 feet under ground our bones deteriorate.

No one will ever remember.

Remember friends, we will all meet this certain doom.

It's coming sooner than you think. . . .

B |o---o---o---o---|o---o---o---o---|

- j a s d a

*boom*

The Dillyio

Here's the dillyio for this weekend:

We were originally scheduled to go to Wendover this weekend, but plans have changed. The one and only JP-Dogg (aka Jon Paxton) is coming into town Friday and we're going to throw a weekend-long party to celebrate. Festivities will begin around 8:30 Saturday night at the Pie. Anyone that wants to come is welcome, just make sure to let me know because as of now I am honestly anticipating around 20+ people so we may need to get there really early in order to reserve a bunch of tables. Afterwards we're thinking of heading to Port O' Call to warm up and then wherever the booze takes us from there. That will be Saturday night. Sunday night we're going to go camping at an undisclosed (as in we don't know yet) location . If anyone has any good ideas, lemme know.

Monday will be reserved for coming down and recovering; or as Corey says, liver transplants...

It'll Getcha Drunk!

I'M RICH BITCH!!!

String Theory

Quantum physics and coffee make for good conversation at 1:45 in the morning. I've had quite the hunger for knowledge ever since I started school, it's kinda fun.

Also, I take back MOST of what I've said in the past about Coffee Break. I've been going there quite a bit lately and either it has changed quite a bit since we all used to go there, or I was overly critical.

NIN

Nine Inch Nails + Josh Freeze + Right Where it Belongs + Terrible Lie + Wish = WOW.

Holy shit tonight's Nine Inch Nails show was absolutely amazing. I've always heard they put on a great show, now I have proof. And this is coming from someone that's only slightly a fan of the band. I went with Nate, Mike, Mike's girlfriend Sarah, Anthony and Corey so we had quite the crew. Anyway, it was amazing!

Next show: Bloodhound Gang

Tomorrow I go to traffic school to get a speeding ticket knocked off my record. After that's taken care of, my goal is to have my application sent out to my school by Friday.

Oh yeah, I've got a pair of tickets in my pocket for a show I'm probably more excited to see than any other show this year. I'll let you know what it is later.

Callus

After a few weeks of constant practice, I have finally got my drummers calluses back!! I forgot how much I love playing.

Reading This Will Be A Waste Of Time

I should be sleeping right now but sleep has been scarce for me lately. I can't seem to fall asleep, and my body doesn't like to stay asleep once I do. Since I've been meaning to update my blog for awhile now, what better time to do so than 3:30 am on a Monday morning?

I've been to 3 concerts in a little over a week. Green Day, Local H and Big Ass Show to be exact. I've said it once and I'll say it again, Green Day puts on hands down one of the best shows I've ever seen. They are easily one of my favorite bands to watch. Billy Joe has a way of getting the crowd involved in the concert even though there's 13,000 of them. Not to mention they just plain rock. It was, as always, an amazing show. Then there was Local H. Local H has always been one of my favorite bands and you couldn't ask for a more polar opposite show compared to Green Day. Local H was at the Urban Lounge, a venue that holds about 500 people total and there was probably only 150 people there which was the best part. Everyone in that room was a hardcore fan and knew every lyric to every song. As you walked in the guy at the door handed you a paper which looked like the menu at a sushi bar. It was actually a list (made to look like a sushi menu) of every Local H song there was. Everyone at the show got to vote for the songs they wanted to hear and then Local H played them. It was an awesome idea and something I had never seen before. Scott Lucas rocked my ass off, enough said. Last but not least there was the Big Ass Show. Although I really wasn't a fan of any of the bands playing (besides Rise Against) I didn't have to be to have a good time. A bunch of my friends showed up and I spent most of the day taking people into the VIP area for food and drinks, drinking beer and hanging out. I could go on for hours about everything that we did, but it's enough to say it was a lot of fun.

I've been keeping really busy lately as well. I think I have gone out partying with friends every weekend for the past month. A pretty good record compared to my recent past. Yesterday a bunch of us found ourselves heading to Park City to go bar hopping. We started at Red Rock where Corey's cosine works drinking beer and eating onion rings. Next we went to the Monkey Bar which is this really cool new bar with a go-go dancing theme. Girls were dancing on stage and behind these colored panels at the bar in which you could see only a silhouette of the girl dancing. It was a pretty cool place. We drank there for quite awhile before moving up Main St. to Cisseros (I have no idea how they spell it) for more drinking. Somehow the group got divided and Corey and I were the only ones that made it in. We drank there until last call. As all good parties go we ended up leaving with one less than arrived with. Corey decided to stay and party with some people he met at Cisseros rather than head back with all of us. I almost stayed but was glad I didn't when I found out he didn't get back to Salt Lake until 2 pm.

Well not much more to say. I'm really tired so I'm sure this has read like shit. If you read the whole thing give yourself a pat on the back. Why anyone besides myself would want to read some of the posts I put up on this thing is beyond me. As for this week we've already started making plans for this weekends debauchery. I'm also pretty excited to see Nine Inch Nails on Tuesday. Although I've never been their biggest fan, I've started to get into some of their stuff recently and have yet to see them in concert. Everyone says they put on an amazing show so I'm going in with high expectations. We'll see. God it's time for bed!

Oh yeah, thanks for helping me with my paper tonight Nate... You are a gentleman and a scholar!